Healthy Relationships in Recovery

Forming healthy relationships in recovery is an important component of sobriety. All areas of a person’s life are influenced by his relationships with other people. Replacing unhealthy relationships with healthy ones is a necessary task for a person wishing to recover from drug or alcohol addiction. When a person has strong, healthy relationships in recovery, life is fuller and more meaningful. It is worth holding onto.

Unhealthy vs. Healthy Relationships in Recovery

Healthy relationships in recovery are only possible once a person stops using. Healthy relationships look very different than most of the relationships a person had while using. Sometimes it’s hard for a person to see that a relationship is not healthy for him because the person has never been in a healthy relationship.

Unhealthy relationships involve:

• Abuse
• Dishonesty
• Disrespect
• Distrust
• Fear
• Inconsistency
• Manipulation, control
• Resentment
• Secrecy
• Selfishness
• Shame
• Unexpressed feelings
• Unhappiness
• Unresolved conflicts

Healthy relationships involve:

• Affirming
• Caring
• Consistency
• Honesty
• Individual growth
• Mutual sharing and support
• Open communication
• Openness
• Respect
• Security
• Trust
• Value

Family Relationships

Healthy relationships in recovery are especially important in the family unit. Families are always affected by the addiction of a family member. When addiction exists in a family, tension within the family and between various family members is present. The family is slowly being torn apart. The person with the addiction will hurt other people to varying degrees. A relationship might be so damaged that it will never be repaired. A person’s damaged relationships are sometimes very painful to face once that person is in recovery.

Strengthening Relationships

It is possible to have healthy relationships in recovery even when damage has been done. Relationships can be strengthened and healed over time when each person takes responsibility for the health of the relationship. Four simple things that go a long way in healing and strengthening a relationship are:

• Being allowed and allowing the honest expression of thoughts and feelings
• Consistently affirming and showing appreciation for the other person
• Doing positive, fun things together
• Listening attentively to what the other person has to say

Contributing positive values, attitudes and behaviors to one’s relationships will move those relationships in the right direction. The more healthy relationships in recovery one builds and maintains, the stronger that person’s ongoing recovery will be.